


Beauty and the Geek

by Marie_Nomad



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship, F/M, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, Survivor Guilt, sop deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 09:32:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14494038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Nomad/pseuds/Marie_Nomad
Summary: After the disaster on the Volta, Meryl struggles to cope in a world where Liquid won, Snake is old, and SOP is gone.  Through, it all, her geeky sidekick stayed with her to help her through the night.





	Beauty and the Geek

All characters belong to Koijima Inc. I am not making any money off of this. Feedback is appreciated but not mandatory. Warning this has MGS4 spoilers.

Beauty and the Geek

By Marie Nomad

Screams echoed through her head as Meryl felt her lungs flood. She was surrounded by darkness and fire. All of a sudden, an arm circled her, and she saw stars. "Snake!" She screamed as she opened her eyes and found herself in a hospital bed. "Where am I?"

"You're in a hospital." Johnny appeared beside her and held her hand. "Remember?"

Meryl's eyes watered up as she remembered everything; the failed mission, all those people dying, under her command. Johnny pulled her out and saved her. And she kissed Johnny. The crews were arriving and stabbing her with a tranq. "Oh god!" She cried. What was wrong with her? She shouldn't feel this way.

"Meryl! I mean, Commander, are you okay?" Johnny whispered. "SOP is offline. Everyone is feeling the effects.”

"I'm fine!" Meryl denied as she wiped her eyes. "How long was I out?"

"Five hours."

“Where’s Snake? Is he okay?” Meryl remembered Snake’s face being burned in an explosion. He must be in pain.

"I guess. They left while I was with you." Johnny explained.

"Oh. O-okay." Meryl held herself as she looked outside. "Jonathan and Ed? How are they?"

"They are badly hurt. They are in intensive care, and all those who were part of the system are being kept under guard, including you." Johnny pointed to a guard posted outside.

"Why?"

"You are deemed unstable. All those under the system have undergone severe mental trauma. Except Mr. Sasaki over here, all those who are Army and PMC must be held for further mental evaluation." The doctor said as he came up.

"What?! I'm not crazy!" Meryl screamed as she grabbed the doctor by the coat. "Let me go right now!"

The doctor just looked unfazed. He looked tired and beaten. "I'm sorry, Commander, but we don't want half crazy soldiers walking around."

"Fine." Meryl let go of the doctor and lay down in her bed.

"Good day." The doctor left, and Johnny sighed.

"Wow, you were easy on the doctor."

Meryl held herself. The feelings of anxiety and helplessness were starting to kick in. Voices in her head are screaming at how useless she was. How she constantly chase away any decent man in her life. How her father just lied and abandoned her. Her body couldn’t stop shaking. "I can't go like this. What’s wrong with me?"

"You’ll be fine, Commander." Johnny supported as he put his hand on her shoulder. "You need to get used to feeling everything again."

The woman felt Johnny's hand on her shoulder, and she felt comfortable. "Don’t call me Commander again. I failed our unit. I failed everyone. I failed Snake." She whispered as she closed her eyes again.

Johnny took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. He didn't know what to do. It was the Genome soldiers all over again. He had been a coward for not letting the government tinker with his genes, and so he was incompetent compared to the other genome soldiers. But the genome soldiers started getting sick, and the last time he saw them, they were barely breathing. Now, he wasn't part of the system, and so he wasn't touched by what happened. Why does he have to be the survivor?

"No! I won't let that happen to the Genomes happen to Meryl and the others! I will help them! I will save Meryl!" He tapped on his wearable and opened communications. "Snake, this is Akiba."

"Akiba… _cough_ did anything happen to Meryl?"

Johnny smiled softly. He knew that Snake still carries a candle for his commander. "She just woke up. She was emotional. I never saw her like that before. I don't know what to do to help her."

"Be there for her. _cough_ We're going to get Liquid for this. Just wait there."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not te- _hack_ telling you."

"Why not?"

" _cough_ Because, you'll just _cough_ follow us."

"Are you okay? You don't sound good."

"I-" Snake went into a series of coughs. Finally, there was a loud thud.

"Snake? Can you hear me? Snake?! SNAKE!"

"I'm fine. _cough_ "

"No, you're not. I know when someone's sick, and you are very sick. Please, just… just rest. Meryl still… she still really likes you." Johnny closed his eyes. "If something happens to you…"

"She will go on. _cough_ _cough_ "

"Then, at least tell me where you are so I can give you back up."

"No! It's too dangerous."

"I'm not a rookie who got sick every day! Let me fight."

"Look, kid, we are going to Shadow Moses _cough_ to make sure that Liquid doesn't get Metal Gear Rex _hack_ and you will only hold me back."

"Shadow Moses? Shadow Moses in Alaska?! That place is still standing?!”

Otacon's voice came over the wearable. "Snake!"

"Damn it! Don't go to Shadow Moses." Snake cursed. The radio turned off.

Johnny turned off the wearable. "Shadow Moses."

Johnny remembered Shadow Moses. It was the place where he had fallen both as a soldier and in love with Meryl. He smiled slightly; he didn't know how he had fallen for Meryl. At first, he hated her for making him sick, but then he admires her for her strength and finally that admiration turned to love.

"Johnny?" Meryl moaned, and Johnny ran back in. "Who were you talking to?"

"Snake, he told me that he and Hal are going to Shadow Moses."

"I see." Meryl looked down.

"I don't know how we can get there. All of the military transports are ID controlled, so they are locked. And I remember that Shadow Moses was on an island and so the closest civilian aircraft is miles away."

"No."

"Yeah, that's a pain. Maybe we can find a boat that we can pay to get us to the island. Might take several hours or so."

"We're not going to Shadow Moses, Akiba!" Meryl ordered as she pulled the blanket over her body. "We lost. If a huge force of highly trained soldiers can't take him, what chance do we have? We have no weapons, we have no nanomachines, and we have no system! What do we have?"

"Each other," Johnny answered. "I know that you're in pain, Commander, but… I don't want Liquid to take over the world!"

"Neither do I, but it's hopeless. We can't win. And stop calling me 'commander'. Rat Patrol is dead. Just… please, leave me alone."

"All right." Johnny can see that Meryl was still suffering from her loss. She had lost five inspection teams over the years in the battle against Liquid. SOP and her memories of Snake had kept her from going over the edge. Now, SOP is not with them, and Snake is old. He didn't blame her for giving up.

He walked through the halls and saw different soldiers in pain and agony. Doctors were restraining them and pumping drugs to make sure they get to sleep. Memories of the final days after Shadow Moses haunted him. The soldiers discovered that they are dying, the genes in their systems are turning against their bodies. Johnny watched as they all started to collapse.

_"We're going to die!"_

_"That damn government killed us!"_

“ _Didn’t anyone care about us?”_

“ _They should’ve let Liquid save us!”_

_"What happened here?!"_

Johnny sat down on the floor and held his head. The voices both inside and outside his head just keep on echoing. Finally, he slammed his head on the wall. "No! I will be strong! I won't let Meryl and the team down!"

**XXX**

Meryl held herself as the screams of the soldiers echoed in her head. She knew it was her fault. All those soldiers who died under her command are dead cause of her. Why did she go through with this crazy plan? Snake was right. If only she had tried to be more subtle and maybe use fewer troops. All she did was set up target practice for the psycho.

_"That sniper is using me as bait."_

_"You could shoot me if I get in the way."_

_"Liar, that nervous glance, that scared look in your eyes… they're rookie eyes if I ever saw them."_

"I'm a failure."

"What do you mean?"

Meryl looked up to see Johnny sitting there with a bag. "Johnny?"

"You're not a failure, Meryl. You're one of the best soldiers I know."

"Then, why did I lead them into death?"

"You didn't know that Liquid was going to do that. We had them surrounded, and we were ready to pull the plug on the system. It was a surprise attack. You did nothing wrong."

"What's with the bag?"

"Supplies. I… I have to go and fight Liquid."

"Why?"

"Because… Snake is sick. He was coughing a lot. I know that he's a legend, but even Big Boss had help in the Soviet Union. I can't… I can't just stand by and do nothing while someone goes around fighting in his condition! Besides, you still care for him, don't you?"

"Of course I do. If anything happens to him, I don't know what I would do."

"And that's why I have to go there. I know Shadow Moses, I'm healthy. The least that I can be is a meat shield."

"No! I can't lose any more people! This isn't our fight."

"It is. He had hurt you too many times; I can't let him hurt you anymore." Johnny clenched his fist.

"Johnny?"

"Ocelot or Liquid or whoever he is. He hurt you back in Shadow Moses, the Middle East, and now at the Volta. I can't let him hurt you anymore!" Johnny reached up and hugged her. Tears came down his face. "I would rather die than let that monster hurt you or Snake or anyone else."

Meryl hugged back. Johnny was ready to go and die for the world. He was just one soldier, and yet he was going to go off to a place he hated. He may be a weird idiot, but he was her weird idiot."You… you are finally the man that I expect you to be, Johnny."

"Meryl?"

"You're… you're right. Snake can't fight alone, especially in his condition. I… I'm scared, more scared than I should be, without the system, I feel helpless. But, if Snake dies because of me, I could never live with myself."

"Yes, let's do this for Snake." Johnny reached up to his wearable and started typing.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm hacking into the system. I had a bug installed so that I can put in who can go and not. I'll just put in that you are stable and that you can go at any time."

"That's ridiculous. The doctors back everything up on paper; they'll never let a dangerously unstable soldier like me out just like that."

Johnny shrugged and pressed the final button.

The doctor came in with some civilian clothes. "Commander, you are deemed suitable to go."

"Thanks." Meryl glared at Johnny. "Get out so I can change. We're going to the train station."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"And Johnny…"

"Yes?"

"I don't want you to get hurt either."

One change later…

Johnny and Meryl stepped outside of the hospital dressed in regular clothes. Meryl felt strange being in civvies after so long. Her uniform had become one with her, and it was part of her identity. Had she forgotten what it was like to be a woman? She glanced at Johnny who was dressed in regular clothes. He looked so cute and so natural. She remembered the first time she saw Snake in civilian clothes. He seemed almost out of place, he had shifty eyes, and he kept on standing too straight. She didn't blame him.

"Meryl?"

Meryl blushed when she found herself staring at Johnny. What was she thinking? "Yes, now, we have to find out a way to Shadow Moses without any help from the military. Ideas?"

"We could at least try to head for Alaska." Johnny tapped on his wearable. "The entire International Infrastructure has been locked down because of the SOP fall. Everyone's afraid of what's going to happen next."

"Train stations?"

"Completely locked down. We would be lucky to get out of town by morning. I'm sorry. We would have been better off at the hospital."

"No, I need to get out and do something." Meryl retook his hand. The screams in her head quieted at the idea of a mission. She realized something, was she turning into Snake? She was starting to live for the next mission, the next battle. She couldn’t begin to live like that, can she?

"Want to get something to eat?"

"Might as well."

The two walked to a food vending machine and ordered their food. They are handy things that deposit food like a restaurant. "At least these are still working." Johnny got out his sandwich.

"It's not ID controlled, that's a good thing." Meryl sighed as she sat down on a bench with her sandwich. She gazed up to see no stars. "It's quiet here."

"I know."

"I never thought that I would see the day when there's no fighting. I grew up in the military. I was more comfortable with a desert eagle than I was in a bra."

Johnny blushed as he sipped his drink. "You told me."

"What about you? I barely know anything about you."

"I come from a long line of soldiers. In fact, Grandpa Johnny was a soldier in Russia during the Cold War after he left America."

Meryl blinked. "Your grandpa was an American who defected to Russia during the Cold War."

"He originally came from Russia and moved to America and went back. He said that he guarded Big Boss in Grozny Grad. I don't know if that's true or not but it's a fun story."

Meryl stared at him again. Johnny was a soldier longer than she was. They both had faced hard battles, and he probably had it harder because of his past. He seemed so at ease in his clothes, the atmosphere, with this whole world without SOP. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be normal. I feel naked without a gun at my side. I live on the battlefield, and now I don't have one." Meryl shivered. "You don't look bothered at all."

"I don't know. I do." Johnny put his arm around Meryl's shoulders. "You're just getting used to being without SOP; you'll be fine."

Meryl looked at her sandwich. "Will I? I've been training all my life as a soldier, getting rid of what makes me a woman so that I can fight. Snake… Snake made me feel like a woman for a change. But he just couldn't stop fighting, no matter how hard I tried. He wouldn't see me as a woman."

"You are a woman."

"Am I? Look at my muscles; I'm a practical tomboy."

"So? I think you're pretty."

"What?" Meryl promptly ignored her sandwich again. No one had ever called her 'pretty' after Snake. On the other hand, she had surrounded herself with soldiers who couldn't tell that they think of her as a woman because she was in command of them.

"It's true. I like your muscles; it's one of the first things I like about you."

"You… like my muscles?" Meryl didn't know whether to laugh or hit him over the head. Snake liked her butt. Johnny loved her muscles. Can she ever find men that wanted her for traditional womanly features?

"Yeah. I like a strong woman."

"Even a woman that can kick your butt?"

"Why not?"

Meryl blushed as she looked down again. This conversation was getting too personal. A part of her longed for moments like these when there were no mentions of guns or battles or anything that involves war, and yet she was scared. War was all she knew. "Thanks."

"Your welcome."

Another moment of silence passed as the two ate again. Meryl found herself sitting closer to him. Did she need someone like Johnny around to feel safe? Just yesterday, she was kicking his butt so that he could function with the team rather than be a few steps behind and now he was the one in the best condition. What was his secret?

Out of nowhere, an armored truck barreled down the road and couple stood up in shock. Johnny and Meryl got out their useless guns. They may not be able to use them, but maybe they can bluff them out or something.

The back hatch opened and a black man walked out with a handkerchief in his hand. "Do not worry; I am a friend right now. In fact, you could say we are on the same team. I'm Drebin."

"You're that gun launderer that was with Snake," Meryl recalled as she kept her gun aimed at him.

"Yes, and I know those guns are useless with the system being down. I can fix that for you."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch, it's just that I understand that you are going to the same place as the Missouri and right now, you need my guns and I need your money. We need each other."

Meryl and Johnny lowered their guns. Meryl couldn't entirely trust this launderer but they need guns, they need weapons if they have a prayer of defeating Liquid and saving the world.

"Good." Drebin gestured. "Come on; I'll take you two to Shadow Moses."

"How do you know where he is?" Johnny asked as they cautiously entered the veichle.

"I have my ways. I know things that are part of my job." Drebin smirked behind his glasses. "Strap yourself in. It will be a bumpy ride."

Meryl and Johnny got into the seats and strapped in. "This had better not be a trick," Meryl warned as she brandished a knife. "I can kick your butt seven ways to Sunday."

"She's not bluffing." Johnny supported. "She's great at CQC."

"Don't worry. If I didn't deliver you, then how will I get paid?" Drebin said as he flicked his fingers and a pair of quarters flew out of his hand and landed at the couple's feet. "Want a soda?"

"Soda gives me stomach problems," Johnny admitted.

"No." Meryl shook her head.

"Very well. We're off." The Launderer put the trunk into gear, and it sped off.

**XXX**

Meryl gazed at the open sea as the tank flew towards Alaska. She couldn't believe it; she was going back to Shadow Moses; the place where she had her gauntlet of fire; the place where she lost her innocence; the place where she met Snake. It had been only nine years, but it might as well be forever.

She held herself as she thought back to those days. She had found a shining knight in the lone mercenary. He was so strong, so powerful, and yet so tender and rugged. He was the Beast, and she was the Beauty sent to awaken his heart. But this beast remained a beast and he aged faster than she dreamed.

"Meryl?"

Meryl looked up to see Johnny holding her hand. How did she not notice that touch? "Yeah?"

"We're here."

"We are?" Meryl saw snow outside, and it hit her. She was back.

Johnny put on his jacket and then got out his mask. "This uniform should keep us from getting cold, and it's gotten warmer thanks to global warming. I'm glad I brought my ma-"

"NO!"

"Huh?" Johnny paused.

"Leave the mask off. I like your face." Meryl pleaded as she took the mask.

Johnny blushed as he put on his glasses. "Then, I'll never put on that mask again."

Meryl smiled at him and then saw Drebin and the monkey watching them. "Anyway, we need to go. Thank you, for the lift, Drebin."

"I also have a little gift, think of it as on the house." Drebin handed the couple their guns. "I removed the ID control on these babies. Figured you might need these."

Meryl aimed away and pulled the trigger and felt it moved. This gun worked for her. "Thanks." She put the weapon in her holster.

"Here's a map of Shadow Moses. Snake's heading towards the Metal Gear that's still on the hanger. You can there overland now."

"That will make things easier."

"Do you think the traps are still set?" Johnny wondered as he remembered the dangerous trap door.

"It shouldn't but Snake's there already so he probably had all traps disabled. Don't worry." Drebin opened the door. "I'll be going. If you need more guns, just bring in that you find and I'll trade you. Remember, I have you."

"We'll be fine. Goodbye." Meryl took a deep breath as she and Johnny got out the door. The truck’s door closed, and it vanished.

"That has octocamo too," Johnny said as Meryl stared at the structure ahead. The snow flew hard at her and all around them. "Meryl?'

"Hmmm? I'm fine." Meryl looked at the map. Her hands shook as she tried to focus. What was wrong with her? It wasn’t the cold. "This way."

The two walked along the snow, and they paused to see a broken security camera on the ground. "It's like a tomb. At least they got rid of the bodies." Johnny muttered as he gazed around. It looked untouched after all this time. He thought the government would wipe this place off of the face of the Earth with all the stuff that happened here. Soon, the ocean will claim this island and everything on it.

"I know." Meryl sighed. "I hate this place."

"Me too." Johnny paused when he saw a crate. "Hey! Wait for a second!" He ran towards the box.

"Akiba!"

Johnny pried opened the weakened box to reveal a couple of Desert Eagles and a bunch of Playboy magazines. "They're still here!" Johnny gushed as he took out the guns and then blushed as Meryl glared at the magazines. "It gets lonely in Alaska." Johnny closed the lid back and then looked at the box again.

"Pervert." Meryl muttered and then smirked.

"Anyway, here's some more guns and some ammo. It should work since it was from before the system." Johnny gave Meryl one of the guns. "I guess Snake missed these when he came by here."

"It's a little rusted but in excellent shape." Meryl loaded up the stolen gun and fired. "Still works. Nice job, Johnny."

Johnny blushed from either the bitter cold or the warm compliment. "Thanks."

The two kept on walking to see wrecked Gekko and fresh bullet holes. "I think Snake was here," Johnny commented.

"Oh really, what gave you that idea?" Meryl rolled her eyes. He can be so naïve and yet so cute at the same time. All of a sudden, she thought she heard a footfall. She held up her hand, and Johnny stopped. She looked around and then pointed at her eyes and then all around.

Johnny looked up and thought he saw something. It could be Snake but why would he keep away? And in his old age, would he be that fast? "I hope it's not another cyborg ninja."

"Or a Gekko. What would a cyborg ninja be doing here? Gray Fox is dead."

"He is?"

"That's what Snake told me."

"Oh."

The two held out their guns as they slowly walked across the snow. Meryl found herself getting more impressed with Johnny. He was keeping up with her, or maybe she had slowed down. Either way, he was stepping up.

They walked towards a corridor and Johnny held Meryl's hand. "Wait for a second; we had mines here last time. I put them there myself."

Meryl ignored him and walked towards the corridor. Her eyes widened as she looked down at her shoulder. "AAAHHH!" She screamed as she held her head. "They hit me! They hit me!" Johnny held up his gun and looked around frantically to see and hear nothing.

"Oh no." He ran to her side and held her.

"Leave me, Snake."

Johnny took a deep breath and held her closer. She was having a dangerous flashback. He had to figure out how to save her before a real enemy saw them.

All of a sudden, a figure jumped from a building and landed in front of them. He was his height with bright blond hair a strange metal mask. He was dressed in only a trench coat with an apparent artificial body. Johnny knew what he was. It was the thing that he feared, the thing that he managed to avoid his entire military career; a cyborg ninja. "Freeze!" Johnny ordered as he held his gun up.

The ninja stared at him with his hand on his sword. This ninja will kill him; he could feel it, or it could be this bitter cold. Johnny cursed the fact that he decided to go all the way to Shadow Moses and got Meryl to come along. He wouldn’t mind dying here. But, Meryl shouldn’t be here. He will protect her with his life. All of a sudden, the ninja jumped into the air and took out his sword. Johnny fired off several times in front of him and felt nothing. All he heard was a crash, and Johnny turned to see the remains of a Gekko lying in the snow.

The ninja walked back and sheathed his sword. "Meryl?" He looked at the redhead.

"You know her?" Johnny asked cautiously with his gun still aiming.

"I worked for her father." The ninja's mask moved to reveal a more human face. "I am Raiden. You are one of Snake's friends?"

"I guess you could say that." Johnny smiled as he put away his gun and picked up Meryl. For once, the cyborg ninja was a friend. This cyborg ninja have a badass name. "I'm sorry, but I had bad luck with cyborg ninjas."

"You should be afraid of me.” Raiden stated as he looked around. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Flashbacks of this place. She just got off SOP.”

“She can’t be here. It’s too dangerous. Vamp is here and those guns are useless against him.” Raiden warned.

"Vamp?” Johnny suddenly remembered that time he spent at Big Shell. All the strange people running around, he even swore that he saw a box with legs running around. “That weird vampire guy that can't die?"

"Yes. He and Liquid could still be here. Meryl is in no shape to fight. She has to go." Raiden warned. He glanced around again.

Johnny gazed at the woman in his arms. "All right but Snake… Snake's sick. He needs help."

"I know, I saw him. I will protect him." He stared at Johnny. "Go. Now."

"Okay. Thanks for saving us." Johnny felt like a coward as he adjusted his grip on Meryl and carried her back to where he thought he saw Drebin's tank. He believed that he would make a difference, but he was wrong. As usual, he was the idiot who has incredible luck. Everywhere he goes, his comrades suffer and die, and he survives.

"NO! I won't let Meryl suffer!” Johnny tapped on his wearable. “Drebin! This is Akiba, Meryl’s down, I need help!”

**XXX**

Meryl's head hurt as she moaned. "Ohhh…"

"You okay?"

"Johnny?"

"I ain't him." An old doctor said as he checked her pulse. "You gave us quite a scare there."

Meryl sat up and rubbed her head. "What happened?"

"Well, you had a mental breakdown. You had a bad experience in Shadow Moses earlier?"

"I was shot and tortured by a madman. But I'm fine."

The doctor shook his head. "You were part of the system, and when that turned off, it made you very vulnerable to past trauma experiences. I've been treating this non-stop for the past 24 hours. You're lucky that Johnny falls got ya back in time. He's worried about ya."

Meryl glanced around. "Where's Johnny? Did he go and used the bathroom?"

"Nah. Some old guy and a cyborg got badly hurt, and so he went to help. He didn't leave your side for the past five hours before that."

"An old guy?! SNAKE!" Meryl pulled out the IV lines and ran out of the room to see Johnny and Otacon working on a bleeding cyborg. The woman looked around furiously, and her heart stopped in her chest. Lying on a hospital bed was Snake with an oxygen mask on his face. She had never seen him this broken. Even his aged face had a huge burn scar, marking him as the beast. Her knight, her savage beast, the legend that protected her from her nightmares had fallen. Everything was getting lost in her world. The system was down. Snake was down.

"Meryl?" Snake reached out to her weakly, horsely. She turned around and ran.

"Meryl!" Johnny looked up.

"Go ahead. I'll take care of Raiden." Otacon said as he pushed Johnny.

"Right."

Johnny felt stupid for leaving Meryl behind but Raiden was severely hurt, and no one except for Otacon would even touch him. He wasn't very good at fighting, but he did have a knack for machines and the human body. Snake wasn't much better and couldn't help out even if he could. "Meryl!" He chased after Meryl as fast as his legs could take him and finally he saw her enter the one place where he can't follow her. Johnny put his hands on the ladies restroom door and pounded. "Meryl!"

"Go away, Akiba!" Meryl leaned against the wall sobbing. "Please!"

"Meryl, please, come out. I know that Snake's hurt and you feel bad about all this but… it will get better."

"Like hell, it will! Go!"

Johnny signed as he ran his hand through his hair. He thought Meryl got better, but he was wrong. Why did he convince her to come with him? He believed that she needed to help out.

"This is the ladies restroom, what are you doing here?"

Johnny blinked and saw the captain staring at him. "Oh!" He saluted. "I'm sorry, it's just a friend of mine got distraught, and she's in there. I haven't done anything perverted! Really!"

"At ease. I heard about what happened. Hal told me. I'll go in there. Meryl's my friend. You go ahead and go back to the sickbay."

"Thank you, Ma'am." Johnny saluted and walked away. He wanted to stay, but that woman was the captain of this ship. He didn't want to get into any more trouble.

Mei Ling took a deep breath and mentally calls up any Chinese proverbs that sounded right for this situation. She marched in and saw Meryl sitting against the wall with her face wet with tears.

"Meryl?"

"Mei Ling? What are you doing here?" Meryl asked astounded as she wiped away her tears.

"I'm the captain of the Missouri." Mei Ling said as she pointed to her captain's hat and then sat down next to Meryl. "I heard you had a hard time."

"What happened to Snake? He… he…"

"Well, Liquid took the rail gun from Metal Gear Rex, and there was a huge battle with Metal Gear Ray and Metal Gear Rex. Snake's metal gear pounded Liquid's metal gear, but they both got down. Liquid's Outer Haven appeared out of the ocean, and I tried to attack it but all I did was shoo it away, and I don't think I did any real damage. Snake would have taken Liquid down, but his body just failed on him."

"I knew it. I should have been there. I was there! I could have stopped him!" Meryl clenched her fist.

"You had a breakdown, a bad flashback. You didn't know." Mei Ling comforted.

"I'm such a failure. I… thought the system was always going to protect me, but it was my crutch. And now, I'm weak. If I didn't have that breakdown, I could have helped Snake. I'm a coward."

"It is easy to dodge a spear that comes in front of you but hard to keep harms away from an arrow shot from behind." Mei Ling quoted. "You didn't know what was going on at the time. You were prepared for an ambush by Gekkos but not in your head. We all get ambushed even Solid Snake."

"Snake…" Meryl let the name roll off her tongue as she went up to a bathroom stall. "The first time I met Snake was in a ladies restroom. I ambushed him while standing in my underwear. We had crossed paths earlier, but that was the first time he truly saw me."

"I scolded him for sneaking into the restroom like that. I heard he did it several times."

"Back then, he was so… young and strong and amazing. Now he's…" Meryl buried her face in her hands. It wasn’t fair. Why did Snake have to age that fast? He was a hero, a legend. Even with that octocamo mask, it was still clear from his voice, even from that smell under the cigarette smoke, that he was aging, dying.

"I know."

"Why does he keep on fighting like this?! He's old! He should rest and let us fight for him!" Meryl clenched her hands and pounded on a nearby sink.

"The doctor said that he didn't know how Snake could keep on going in his condition but I believe that he lives on the battlefield. He lives to fight. He fights because it keeps him going. My grandfather is celebrating his 95th birthday, and he still rises at dawn to chop firewood. He works to keep going that was his way of staying healthy."

"I think I'm like that too." Meryl looked in the mirror and put her hand on the surface. "I don't remember the last time I wasn't wearing a uniform before today. Everyone sees me only as a soldier, a leader, except maybe for Johnny. He thinks I'm pretty." She giggled at the comment.

"Johnny?"

"Akiba."

"Oh. He's kinda cute."

"I know. I can't believe that he wore a mask all the time to hide his face. I can't believe we're talking about Johnny being cute." Meryl put her hand to her face in disbelief.

"Why not? We are human. If we are nothing but soldiers all the time, we lose ourselves once the battles stop."

"Will the battles ever stop after this?" Meryl wondered.

"Maybe. I don't know. But, if we stop hoping, how can we keep going?"

"Hope." Meryl sighed as she kept on staring in the mirror. If she can keep it up, maybe she could find the woman in her; the woman that was buried deep down by years of training and nanomachines. That woman in her stirred when Snake showed up back in her life, and it came out with Johnny. She took a deep breath. It was like before in Shadow Moses; she was looking in the mirror to find the soldier, now she wanted to find the compromise between the woman and the soldier. Could she truly fight without SOP being her crutch? She had to know. "Let's take down Liquid."

"That's the spirit!" Mei Ling cheered as she led Meryl back out of the bathroom.

**XXX**

Meryl went back to the sick bay, but she did her best to remain unseen. She kept to the doorway just out of Snake's eyesight. She wasn't sure how to approach Snake again. Why did she run off like that? He must be feeling awful before when she scolded him for doubting her brilliant plan to surround Liquid on the Volta, but now, he must have felt like an old dog waiting to be euthanized.

All of a sudden a paper airplane towards into her face and she caught it. She opened it and saw a short note in Snake's handwriting. 'I know you're there, Meryl.'

She walked over to Snake who was now just sitting in his bed with the oxygen mask still on his face. "Real cute, Snake."

"I had to get your attention." Snake rasped out from under his mask. "You okay?"

Meryl didn’t know if she could laugh at the absurdity of a dying old man asking a perfectly healthy woman if she was okay. "I don't know. I should ask you."

"That damn doctor took my smokes. He said it's not good for me." He laughed and ended up coughing. He inhaled deeply and paused. "I heard you were in Shadow Moses."

"Yeah. Johnny and I thought that we could help you since you were… sick. I had a flashback and the next thing I knew, I was here. I should have been stronger; I shouldn’t let a flashback get to me."

Snake sighed and took her hand. "Meryl, you suffered in Shadow Moses. When I was there, I kept on seeing and hearing past trauma. It takes years of experience to harden yourself to the past."

"And the system kept me from doing it." Meryl shook her head. "You were right; I was foolish to think that I could take down Liquid even with his finger on the button like that. You weren't blind, I was. I'm sorry."

"You believed in yourself; nothing wrong with that. Everyone makes mistakes, even me."

"I know. I'm going to help you take Liquid down. I won't let the ghosts in my head stop me."

"Good." Snake closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't think I feel that good. Did I tell you why I’m aging fast?”

“No. Was it Foxdie?"

“Nope, the doctors who created me, they decided to cut my lifespan in half to make me less of a threat.”

Meryl began to get angry. People decided to actually give an innocent man only half of his lifespan? They engineered him to suffer from old age and die before his time. “And… you’re okay with it?!” She couldn’t understand how Snake could be so calm and nonchallant about it.

“Of course not but I can’t change it. Being mad at those doctors who are dead by now, won’t do anything. I wonder if Liquid knew.”

“I don’t know.” Meryl sighed. "What a sorry pair of soldiers we are. You're dying from old age, and I'm mentally fucked up. The only soldier that I know of that is in his game is-" Meryl looked over at Johnny who had fallen asleep in his chair.

Snake grumbled as he stared at the sleeping soldier. "I’m surprised he decided to come here."

"Why?"

"The kid was a genome soldier, and a lot of his comrades died. He should have been freaking out over there."

Meryl's jaw dropped. She had been so focused on keeping the whispers out of her head; she didn't bother to think about Johnny. He did talk about the dead bodies and the place feeling like a tomb. What did he go through in Shadow Moses? "Idiot." She marched up to Johnny and slapped him on the face. "Wake up."

"I'm awake!" Johnny yelled as he stood up and then saw Meryl. "Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn't get to sleep since Europe. Everything was calm, so I thought…"

"Ugh. Never mind. Did you suffer flashbacks in Shadow Moses?"

"I heard voices of people that I knew were dead and I freaked when I saw Raiden. But, I always feel that." Johnny shrugged.

"Then… why did you want to go back so much?"

"Because I had to. Remember, I won't let Liquid hurt you again."

Meryl looked down as she took Johnny's hand. "You are braver than I give you credit for."

"Meryl." Johnny blushed.

"Attention. Attention. Briefing for the Assault on the Outer Haven Base is in Room MC1. Anyone interested, please come unless they are too hurt to come. Then we will let them know about all details."

"That's my cue." Snake said as he struggled to get out of bed. He fell and Meryl and Johnny rushed to his side.

"Snake! You can't even stand."

Snake stared at her right in the eyes with a look a sheer determination. "Has that ever stopped me before?"

Meryl sighed and then helped him up. "I will not let you collapse on your way there. Akiba, get his oxygen tank."

"Yes, Ma’am," Johnny said eagerly as he took the oxygen tank off the bed and held it to the side.

"Let's go." Meryl's eyes steeled as she helped the old warrior out of the sickbay. She was scared, but she could handle it. Whatever happens, she would face it head-on.

The End?


End file.
